Hideaki Kawashima

For an artist creating work for a long time, where does the motivation come from?

The Little Boy: The Arts of Japan's Exploding Subculture catalog (2005, edited by Takashi Murakami, Yale Univ. Press) for the Little Boy exhibition (2005, New York) mentions Seiji Togo. What do you think about him?

I think he was cited to contrast his work with my symbolic-looking female portraits. I didn't know much about Seiji Togo so after seeing his name in the catalog, I looked at his books. I came across a photo of him painting a nude model standing in front of him. When I saw that painting, I thought that he could have painted it without having that model pose in front of him. The photo might have been included just for illustrative purposes, so it might differ from his actual method of painting. However, if he had a live model in front of him as shown in the photo, could he paint methodically and look closely at the model and still find something to paint?
I haven't painted like that in a long time. Perhaps I should try it. I gradually developed my own style and have been working with it ever since. However, I can't continue doing it for ten or twenty more years. I have a great interest in knowing where other artists get their long-term motivation.

Have you ever heard someone say something to which you thought, "Aha, I see."?

In the process of creating a work, ironically there's no such thing as simply painting something just because you actually want to paint it. For example, if there's a deadline or if there was some disappointment that spurred you to paint, it might turn out to be a masterpiece. That's why when I look at my work from my viewpoint, it becomes something I have difficulty painting. But the people seeing this show don’t see the parts that I couldn't paint, so they view it as is from the outset. In the end, I'm best when I'm feeling defeated and can’t paint anything. Well, I think that that's just fine.

It would be good if it gives you the chance to move forward. Is it somehow reassuring when you hear that other people are in the same boat?

Yes. That’s right. About the pressure of deadlines as I mentioned earlier, I thought about it while watching the Osamu Tezuka documentary. He had so many deadlines to meet and was creating multiple comic strips at the same time. When he was drawing one comic strip and got a call from the editor of a another comic strip, he often didn't make sense on the phone and the editor would start arguing with him. It's amazing that he was able to make comic strips under such conditions.
But we enjoy reading the work he has left us. It’s power has continued. When you think about the conditions under which he worked, he was incredible. On the other hand, even if an artist is happy with a work he creates, it might not be well-received by people. The work might be considered boring. As for the works in this show, I feel that a lot of things didn’t go well. But to the people viewing the works, that in itself might make it more interesting.

Regarding conclusion in this show, it's unusual to see it painted in the center with symmetry on the left and right.

This was the last picture I painted. I had run out of ideas. Though I had prohibited myself from painting at the center and making it symmetrical…

It's interesting that when you look at it close up and then from farther away, the impression you get changes. When you look at it from here, the face jumps out at you and it looks totally different.

I try to paint the eyes last. If I paint the eyes sooner, I am drawn to them and get swallowed up. Once the eyes are painted, the painting looks complete. I think when you put something in the eyes, it seems like it resides there.

What about your use of colors?

I'm bad at colors. I basically use monotones. It's because I'm not good at using many colors.

Overall, the colors look light. Perhaps lighter than before. While the tones look basically the same, there appears to be a variety of complex colors used.

No, they are not that complex. The light, diluted colors may be layered. The white and diluted colors are raw colors from the tube.

The subjects in glance, anxiety, etc., have worried faces.

They even have eyebrows.
I had been consciously avoiding eyebrows; once you paint them, they lend a lot of expression to the face. Since eyebrows add narrative, I always thought it was better not to paint them. But then things became too iconic and inflexible. I was getting too serious.
Adding eyebrows made the overall proportion of the face look more realistic. I can't help thinking that. My earlier paintings had very large eyes. I think such paintings look more ordinary. Even in these paintings, the facial proportion are not real. I drew in and erased facial parts such as the ears. Recently it's been kind of agonizing to have the style I've created. How should I start destroying it? I wonder...

When you paint something like floater with a serene expression, do you feel serene as well?

… On the whole, it's depression. It's based on depression.
For example, anxiety on the right was painted after I got drunk and fell and broke my front tooth and got cuts all over my face. It happened after Naoki Koide's opening party in January. I felt prickly emotions, but the painting surprisingly did not come out that way. I erased what I had painted over a week and painted it again. It took about a week to finish it. At that time, whenever I looked at the mirror, I wanted to die. My face had cuts all over it and my front tooth was missing.
On the left of anxiety is glance which I worked on right until my accident. Koide's opening party was when ART@AGNES (Art Fair) was being held. Before leaving for the opening party, I finished glance. And a few hours later, I broke my front tooth. Afterward, I started to paint anxiety, which is on the left. When I look at it now, the style seems to come on too strong. It's probably not that raw looking.

So are you that concerned with style (laughter)? Did you also paint cool toward the end?

After erasing a large painting twice, I painted cool and impossibility. I thought I could paint them if they were smaller. But that also caused me some agony.

Do you always decide on the title after finishing the painting?

Yes. The title impossibility refers to my inability to paint it. A face whose expression I couldn't paint.

So that's why the eyes are crying and looking upward. It's saying, "I can't paint anymore!" like in a dialogue balloon on the side.

Yes, that's the concept: "I can't paint."(laughter) I think I've talked and revealed too much.